


It's Either Him or Decaf

by Fanderp (Fandork)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Established Relationship, Ficlet, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandork/pseuds/Fanderp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux was having a pleasant lunchbreak. </p><p>Unfortunately, Eridan Ampora is still a thing that exists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Either Him or Decaf

“It’s not like I was goin’a be textin’ in class, I mean, God, I tried to tell him I just needed my cell out in case my agent called about that commercial, you’d think the professor would be able to understand that, but he just looked at me like…Wait, hang on, I gotta go.” He clicks off his phone and rounds the next table over. “Sol, you have no idea the day I’ve had!”

 

Eridan sits down with a flourish, unwinding the scarf from his neck only to replace it with a lighter one.

 

You look up from your laptop and stare flatly at him.

 

Why is this freak sitting with you?

 

Oh, yeah, he’s your boyfriend.

 

Why is he your boyfriend again?

 

Probably because you are an idiot and the world hates you.

 

God, _you_ hate you.

 

In all honesty though, your best friend (well, one of your best friends, but the other one is short and cranky and doesn’t count) also happens to be his closest childhood friend, who, in all her “magnanimity” and “good will,” introduced the two of you.

 

Okay, you’re not being entirely fair. Feferi is the sweetest person on the face of this planet (or any besides) and she always has the best intentions at heart. And it’s your fault for knowing this guy and then dating him; knowing him better and then _still_ dating him.

 

But this guy is a pretentious, self-absorbed jackass and the fact remains that she was the one who said, “Sollux, this is Eridan, my oldest friend ever!” to which she also added, “Ignore his personality. Deep down he’s really not that bad.” Eridan’s yelp of protest being only a token effort maybe should have tipped you off.

 

“So, anyway,” Eridan breaks in, smoothing back an errant lock from his forehead. It’s purple. A stupid shock of purple in his otherwise blonde hair. “I was tellin’ this guy in my Mac class that I knew he was wrong, he had to be wrong, ‘cuz remember that time you taught me to hack that really irritatin’ firewall on the campus computers? Well, I told him ‘my boyfriend, Sollux Captor, said to do it this way, and he knows his stuff. He is the computer guy. The absolute authority. There ain’t none better.’”

 

You feel your lips begin to quirk up despite yourself, but Eridan continues.

 

“’Even if he is also the biggest jerk ever to live, but you gotta expect that from a techie, they’re basically designed to be social outcasts.’”

 

You frown deeply. What is even up with this guy?

 

“Oh, yeah, I got you coffee,” He says eagerly, gesturing to a takeaway cup he has placed on the table.

 

You jerk your head up instinctively at the thought of caffeine.

 

…So okay, maybe he’s an all right human being.

 

And that coffee is glorious.

**Author's Note:**

> I intended to make them trolls when I edited this from a homework assignment. But my prof kindly told me that this whole thing doesn't work; me being the huge crybaby that I am, I now just want to push it off the cliff and into fandom.


End file.
